Twice this morning already I’ve heard, “Show me you calendar and I’ll show you your priorities”. I was listening to a podcast the first time, and read it a second time, so it wasn’t directed at me per say, but it also wasn’t lost on me. What exactly does that mean? How can I use it? I’m going to contribute the quote to Greg Scheinman since I heard it from him first. (If you don’t know him, look him up.)
Greg is basically stating that this axiom holds true regardless of what you say. You may say out loud that health and wellness are a priority for you, but if your calendar is full of nothing but meetings and happy hours, that is obviously not the case. You may say that family is a priority, but if you don’t have date night and kid’s recitals on your calendar, that tells a different story.
Our calendars are more than just a list of things we need to do. They are a reflecting pool of our life’s real deal priorities. Every meeting, every class, every date, represents a decision about where we’re going to focus our attention and time. It also tells the story of where we’re not focused. Opportunity cost is a thing. When we become more aware of how we spend our time, we automatically also know where we’re not spending time. We can then check our goals, standards, non-negotiables and see if our daily actions do indeed align with what we say our long term goals and life’s values are.
Before we get all indignant, let’s realize that this misalignment between our stated priorities and what our calendar says our priorities can often happen unintentionally. Life is wild these days. It’s easy to get hemmed up with all the distractions and perceived “urgencies” making us lose sight of what truly needs to be accomplished. Manager meetings, tire rotations, and grocery shopping quickly fill up our calendars making us feel like we don’t have time for anything else.
When this happens, and we become aware of it, often times we feel ashamed, stressed, and dissatisfied. We can begin to burnout if it goes on too long because our true purpose is not being worked. We’re busy! But we’re not fulfilled. Whe can’t begin mindlessly cutting things out however. We have to learn how to be more intentional with our time.
In order for us to be sure our calendar does align with our priorities, we have to work on deliberate scheduling. Start with what truly matters to you. Just like when you’re attempting to save money, pay yourself first. Your health is a priority, schedule your workouts first. Your family is a priority, schedule your date night and kids games next. Your personal development is a priority, schedule your class time third. Now, once that is done you can back fill with everything else. My best tip is to use your morning wisely. If you get up an hour earlier to get your workout or class time in, you’ve prioritized already without eating into time for any of your other responsibilities. Look for other nooks and crannies that you can fill in. Fifteen minute bursts sprinkled in here and there will add up quickly.
Learn to say “No.”. It’s a full sentence. We’ve been conditioned to believe that saying yes to every request or opportunity is being a leader. That’s not the case. It leads to a cluttered calendar which doesn’t represent your true priorities. If an activity doesn’t align with your standards or values, make a practice of turning it down. If it does align, make a note and see where you may be able take that time and revisit next time you’re doing your self assessment.
Yes, I said “Next time” and “self assessment”. Regularly reviewing your calendar along with your standards and values is a must. Make this a habit. Your ongoing reflection will ensure that you stay the course and your time is spent doing what really matters to you. Some weeks will be different as schedules tend to vary. Standards and values will also change, albeit not as often.
When you master your schedule and it aligns with your priorities, you’re going to notice a sense of fulfillment and balance that was fleeting before. You’ll be investing time in things that truly matter to you and the opportunity costs will result in far less “buyer’s remorse”. In short, it’s worth it.
Just as the ball don’t lie in pickup basketball, your calendar doesn’t lie in life. It’s a black and white tool that can help you live in alignment with your standards and values. Take control and be intentional with your time and you’ll know that your days are true reflections of you.
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